Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
