I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
