Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
