I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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