I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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