I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
