I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
