she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize