tell your sister to shave her snatch
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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