I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
