You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
