I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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