The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We have so much sex to catch up on
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
