If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
