I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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