Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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