Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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