i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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