I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
