Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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