Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
