Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
