pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
