Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
birth control should be required to get into college
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
