Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You've changed since you got that strap on
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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