if you like me you must not know who I am
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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