Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
