Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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