You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
