I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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