before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
