if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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