capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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