I CAN MOONWALK!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
