It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
