So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
