There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
