I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
