Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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