why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
