I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
