did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
