Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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