am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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