i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
