u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
