took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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