I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize