You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize