Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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