Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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