I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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